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Month: December, 2014

Military docs

Military docs never have to be held responsible for their mistakes— you just pcs or get discharged and become someone else’s problem.
Hey, I think I broke my foot!
Oh, your ankle seems to be sprained.

Hey, I keep throwing up bile.
You’re bulimic.

I shit 4 times a day.
Definitely constipated.



I think that’s the difference between an adult and a teenager.
As an adult, there are many times you want to die, but you’re just too lazy to make it happen.


Sept 12th, I married him.
A week later, we kissed for the last time in months (nearly 6!) and I boarded my flight to return to the land of bibimbap 비빔밥.

I found out later that, while I was crying beside a retired Air Force man of about 75 years of age and gasping in heartbreak, my love experienced his first panic attack.

Now, I know panic attacks. I thought panic attack “victims” were attention-seekers when I was younger. Thought panic attacks were reserved for only a certain type of person (who probably crawled out of a Lifetime movie.) But, a few years after I was raped and had joined the military as a farewell to myself, I experienced my first bout. Absolutely the scariest thing I have ever experienced in my life— so much so that I called my father, who works at an emergency clinic, and told him that I was suffering from the symptoms of some complication with my heart and probably had a weakened aorta or something of the sort and was going to pass soon. He assured me that it was, in fact, a panic-attack.
I dealt with them for about two years before I reached a new chapter in life. Even after I had met my love, I was still trying to drown them away in glitter-filled nights in tiny dresses.
Eventually, like everything else, they drifted away.

So, my love said he had experienced his first panic attack once I left. I was a bit suspicious— he is entirely too stoic for something like that. But, as he described it to me, I knew that it was true. He hadn’t been able to breathe for a few minutes and messaged his sister to help him. He had no idea what was happening to his body at the time.

Sweet, sweet man. I knew he loved me but I never thought he couldn’t live without me.

I’ll be with him forever.

What Is IBS?

IBS is a bullshit diagnosis a bullshit doctor gives you once they are dumbfounded by your symptoms.
IBS is the reason I must get into the medical field.

IBS and GERD put me at a 8 of 10 painwise whenever I would have a flare up (often before i learned alternatives to Nexium) and caused me to spit up large amounts of acid at least 10 times per meal.
GERD probably irritated my tonsils and led to their removal (they were touching each other!)

How to temporarily fix the symptoms of a broken digestive system without taking 80mgs of Nexium a day:
1. Chamomile or nasty peppermint tea with agave (2 cups) immediately upon waking.
2. Swig of apple cider vinegar before I leave the dorms.
3. 2 cups of chamomile tea at minimum at work.
4. Eating light and no greasy foods. If you are offered a sweet snack, split it with someone.
5. No belt buckle by navel.
6. Aloe vera gel (available at gnc or commissary.)
7. 3 cups of chamomile tea until bed.

I would write “work out” on there, but i’ve been in pain only when I run or wake up lately.

Ohhh… And the stomach swelling! My god. It looks like I swallowed a basketball when my stomach (which is nearly flat and 24ish inches around) swells.

Don’t worry… I’m not skinny. I hold my weight on my ass (maybe 40inches.)

I’m so frustrated with this stomach. It reacts to all food.
I’ve had a small intestines biopsy done and two endoscopies. No one has requested a colonoscopy or checked my gallbladder or pancreas…